because God’s not in school … December 15, 2012

Without question – the shooting in New Town, Connecticut yesterday is a profound tragedy – and casts a grim shadow over the season. The senseless end of so many young lives should provoke us all to pause and consider – again – why does this keep happening? What enrages some so much about life that they conclude to rebel against misery with misery?

 

There are today – all over the internet – comment after comment about “this happened because God’s not allowed in school.” While I would personally like more of God in school – as well as work, downtown, the park, my neighborhood etc. – I’m not sure that we’re all talking about the same thing.

 

At the risk of landing in a heap of trouble – I’m doubtful that the successful alteration of educational legislation to allow class-wide prayer, the 10 commandments, nativity scenes etc. would diminish this phenomena of violence. These things are the trappings of faith-filled lives – not the substance of them. I believe we need more of God-likeness everywhere in our lives – not more symbols. For instance – grieving with the families and members of Newtown – before knee-jerk grasping at a one-dimensional solution to a very complicated and serious problem – one that warrants prayer, fasting, earnest dialog – not platitudes.

 

Relying on legislation to force symbols of Christianity into classrooms – seems a futile fight against symptoms. The most powerful manifestations of Jesus we encounter are bound up in the faith-filled actions of those so moved by love for Him that they choose to model His teachings as much as they can in their actions. Against this inspirational witness no legislation can be written – and I’m saddened every time discussion of spiritual growth, or how to impact our communities for Christ turn towards discussions of how to legislate this or that Christian symbol into the public sphere. These battles – whether won or lost – seem to do more to increase resistance than increase the Kingdom.

 

In light of yesterday’s events I turn to my faith for comfort and I usually enjoy seeing crosses, the 10 commandments, nativity scenes and such in my community. When I look for ways to expand the reach of God’s Kingdom where I live – I look to Galatians 5:16-26 – and hope and pray that the choices I make, and the priorities around which I structure my life, and the conversations I engage in with others will lead those God’s put in my life to trust Him more.  I fear a battle cry to fight to stuff symbols of God into schools where the rather the substance of God is needed will harm the Kingdom it’s intended to strengthen.

what’s the point of pain? October 3, 2012

whoops! I mean – how can we think about the painful part(s) of our lives with hope? I have to change the question from the title of this post to this form because the philosophical question of the point of pain is way, way waaaaayyyy beyond the rope that marks the boundary of my swimming skills in the pool of philosophical questions. Brilliant people continue to struggle to provide a solid answer to that question.

 

What follows is my simple (K.I.S.S.) – “don’t know if it will help you – but it sure helps me” personal opinion.

 

I forget it pretty frequently – that the most (seemingly) painful works God accomplishes in my life are precisely the ones that I rely on most – taught me the most about God, taught me the most about accepting Him, others, me … but when I remember that the very things in my life right now that kind of drive me crazy … my lack of wealth, failed relationships, crazy family, etc. … that these are all the tools currently in God’s hands to remove the dross from my soul and make me more like Christ – in fact – I really believe – that ironically God uses these little pains in my life to remove the bigger Pains … the ones that really cause me problems.

 

I very very firmly believe in the reality of Heaven. I believe that this life is a rash, a whole season of my existence (and all Christians’) which compared to heaven is nothing but mentally ill, spiritually perverse, cancer-ridden, poverty-stricken … This is our hell-hole. And – the big prize at the bottom of our box of Christian Cracker-Jack is that God refuses to let this sin ridden world’s 125-ish +/- years of horror be meaningless to us. That’s His gift of Love to us – He recycles it – and uses our suffering to reveal Himself – something poets, philosophers, sages and mystics through the ages have longed for – so we can enter our Real Lives – our Next Lives – equipped, informed, and in His presence – and finally – for His sake, for our sakes – experience the Lives He’d have given us in absence of Sin.

So – I don’t care as much that this life isn’t gold-dipped unicorns and rainbows … I’ll love poverty, my family and all the rest – because they reveal the Divine to me. In the next Life – the one that will last – the one that matters – all of those things will be revealed in their perfected form. I joke that in Heaven God will set me to the task of telling Bible stories to the polar bears living in the mandarin orange groves of Denali Alaska – the joke is – that I’d even have 0.00000001% of my heavenly existence figured out. But I’m dead serious … my role before my King in the next Life will be a thing of beauty and awe to behold – and will probably be something of a private irony/joke between God and I – that only my life of obedient submission to the trials of this life will make sense of.

I think there’s a hesitation among western Christians to talk about eternity in this way – because it seems like copping out – like the old mental-tricks that some in the distant past used to disenfranchise the poor … but all prior abuses aside – the purpose of this life IS to be God’s hands-and-feet as long as we’re here – and allowing that service to perfect us for His, our and the world’s sakes. Focusing on this aspect of our suffering makes it all so much more glorious, meaningful and hopeful.

the problem with “safe” September 27, 2012

So – there’s an obsession – it seems – in our culture with finding “safe” people with whom we can have “safe” conversations and we desperately want to keep our tender underbellies safe from the slings and arrows of misfortune. And really – is that such a bad thing? I mean – really – don’t we have a word for it – when someone recklessly courts self-harm – called masochism?

 

The problem is – as the prophet Jeremiah via inspiration reveals in 17:9 – is that “the heart is deceitful above all else and is desperately sick” and the rest of scripture would imply that only God actually understands the drives and whims that govern our heart. The lack of accurate understanding of what’s actually raging in our chests – makes it highly unlikely that we can always determine what’s really relationally safe. I’m not speaking here to the profound tragedy that is abusive relationships nearly as much as I’m speaking to the plethora of little decisions we make – the promises we make to ourselves in the wake of an injury, insult or season of hardship about how “I’ll never again be vulnerable to …” fill in the blank. These decisions anchor our souls to a pain in the past – and by morphing the injury into a boundary-marker – we cement it into the fabric of our lives. This action – at least for me – makes it significantly less likely that God can actually move in my life – via forgiveness, gaining of new wisdom, greater comprehension of His eternal truths about me – and ultimately heal me from the injury. In effect – my determination to learn “forever” from the incident – assures that it will in fact be with me forever. And my “safety” device – has … presto! … become a permanent gaping wound – invulnerable to God’s loving and healing touch.

More and more – I slow (so slowly sometimes) learn that the safety I long for – and surely God does not want languish in pain from relationships – is only found in more love for Him, more love for His truth and His truth alone about the value of who and what I am, more forgiveness and healing from the wounds of the past – most of which were suffered primarily from an incomplete understanding of His Truth and Love than anything else. The insults, judgments and hurts suffered from those I “let in” only carry weight in so far as I believe their truth (little t) over God’s Truth (very very big T).

 

In the last few weeks as I strive to work with God’s efforts to minister to and pour love on those He’s put around me – the damage caused by the false hope of “safety” keeps coming to the fore – and so I’ve been taking it as a hint to examine myself and see what compromises I’ve made to God’s efforts to heal me with the cheap allure of false safety – and clean my spiritual house again and make more room for more of His Love and Truth. I hope this encourages you too.

Dick Eastman September 20, 2012

If you have ever wondered how you could possibly spend an hour in prayer – please let me introduce you to Dick Eastman. My discipler put me onto this guy in college – but he has a 12 part prayer method – which looks at 12 different kinds of prayers seen in Scritpure and has you spending 5 minutes in each style of prayer to make up an hour of prayer. The whole idea of an hour comes from Jesus statement to His disciples in the garden – “Could you not pray with me one hour?” (Mark 14:37).

 

The part about this way of praying for longer periods of time – is the way it incorporates listening and watching into prayer … it immediately points the new prayer-er towards the reality that prayer is far far more than reciting to God a laundry list of needs and wants – but rather it is the front-line in the war of our transformation. Prayer is also where God breathes life into our Spirits – and illuminate for us how He has made us to work with Him in His Kingdom on Earth.  

 

Actually – the little book that Dick Eastman wrote to teach this prayer method is available for nada mucho these days – and I encourage anyone who’s looking for more ways to spend time in prayer to pick up a copy. It’s as easy to pray a few minutes as it is a few hours with this method – and if you’ve never spent much time focused on listening, watching or meditating – you might find the discussion on how to engage in these practices invigorating. 

a brief absence …

My apologies for my absence over the last week – which was without a doubt the busiest of the year. It just wasn’t going to happen – well – not unless I’d been willing to forego any time alone with God – which would’ve been way too ironic. So – here’s hoping you had a great week – and that you’re headed for a splendid weekend.

 

 

I don’t know your question – but the answer is probably love September 12, 2012

Today was another one of those days when I awakened to a sense of regret. Not regret over what I planted in the garden, or skipping the car wash … but rather regret regarding relationships. Let’s be honest – it’s how we handle and mishandle relationships that burdens our souls and sullies the Kingdom’s reputation.

 

I do believe we’re all gritters – or scruffy looking nerf herders … or whatever … it doesn’t really matter. If today I’m an A-game gritter and you’re the undisputed best scruffy looking nerf herder – is one of us ahead? Or visa versa? Aren’t such differences without real distinction? Don’t they all sound just like James 2:4 – “have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

 

Put in such a way – maybe you’d agree that we’re all on equal footing. But think about … well … you know who. Your one-time friend, your difficult relative, irascible neighbor, cantankerous co-worker, irrational client, clueless boss … . Maybe your wisdom allows you to remain calm, serene and selfless in light of all manner of interpersonal conflicts – but it seems like I gun for trouble too often. I get hung up on right and wrong – and get lost in ideals about “should be”. It’s par for the course for gritters and nerf herders alike to read passages like James 2:4 and think “Aha! God says I’m a judge!” and forget – what a delightful peace it is to bring our precious judgments to God  – and DUMP THEM. Not just the judgments – but the bitterness that fuels them. It’s hard to do that with a soul freshly pinched with pain – but it’s not nearly as hard as regret.

 

Maybe it’s universally human to long for the land of “Should Be” – but we all live Here, in the land of IS. And though it still rarely looks like it on the front end – experientially God proves over and over that the shortest route to the peace I long for is via the way of love. The challenge will be remembering that the next time I’m tempted to exercise some heavy-handed approach – and even more – going back the messes left here and there and adding more love, more forgiveness – in an effort to sow hope into the future. These lessons have enough meat to fuel a 1,000 hours of prayer and contemplation if not 100,000.

 

Love may seem harder initially … but I have yet to lay awake at night regretting it.

why mysticism – why not be charismatic? September 10, 2012

This question came up in a conversation with a friend recently. Valid question. I’ll do some more thinking on this one – and probably use a phone-a-friend line (or two) to contact some devout followers of Christ more aligned with that tradition. For the moment however – I have to say off the cuff these two things do not feel like the same thing at all. In the years I attended a charismatic church I learned much – but not regarding mysticism or anything that felt like that. It was at that church that I first learned of the Jesus prayer and “breath prayers”.

 

The spiritual gifts as practiced in most charismatic and/or pentecostal bodies are for the benefit of the larger body – and seem to be more corporate in their orientation, development, and practice – whereas mysticism seems to be a largely solitary pursuit – though it is also for the edification and benefit of the larger body. If a group of mystics gathered and “got all up in your grill and mystical” – I’m not sure you’d actually see anything. The charismatics and pentecostals though … well … you know that you’d notice.

 

More than any stereotyping though – what really draws me to the mystical tradition is the rigor and self-discipline they applied to their pursuit of God. They were the real deal through and through – and their motives – because they were solitary – didn’t pose the same questions. The accounts of their self-denial and self-discipline are so pervasive – that even as a critical modern reader – it can’t be dismissed out-right as medieval exaggeration. They had something different going on than is readily found anywhere today. If it is to be found still today – and I truly hope it is – you’d need a whole different set of skills to find it … some sort of other-worldly radar as it were – to detect a level of rigor and devotion at the root of a major drive and longing for God.

 

‘Course – this discussion begs the question – at least for me – what if these two things could be blended in a synergistic fashion? What would that look like?

got juice? September 7, 2012

Howcome it seems so easy to settle for a AA’s worth of God? The toy-version. Scripture leaves me certain that what God’s offering is more on the limitless end of the spectrum.  If you’ve ever walked by a sub-station at the right time – you can feel the massive amounts of energy surging through these things – and sometimes you can even hear it crackling and buzzing. This idea has been rattling around in my head for quite some time. Surely God has some say in what our relationship with Him looks like and how it functions. Surely He offers far more of Himself to each of us than any of us actually accepts. 

 

But some people seem to really be tapped into a different sort of power source. The common denominator in these individuals seems to be they all walk by great faith, love courageously without bounds, and are obediently humble servants of the Lord.

 

No doubt – AA’s are not cumbersome – and they can be useful for small tasks … but they are also disposable.

 

But – I don’t want small tasks – or conveniently disposable god that fits into my pocket.

 

gritters welcome … cuz we’re all gritters September 5, 2012

Long before the term “white trash” crept up – my hometown highschool referred to kids existing on the fringe of dropping out, becoming alcoholic/drug addicted – and generally headed for working minimum wage and riding bmx bikes forever as “gritters”. None of us ever thought much about this term – it just was. And there was no greater shame to your teenage honor – than being called a gritter in the halls of the school – within earshot of all your peers.

 

Imagine my chuckle when years later reading the town facebook page motto I saw “cuz we’re all gritters.”

 

Now – all teenage existential despair aside – we’re not really all gritters … and yet again we are all truly big, mongo gritty Gritters!! No amount of pursuing this, or praying for that – changes anything. The only hope experiencing more of God’s presence offers anyone – is a glimpse, a faint breeze, and maybe sometimes a lasting image – of something so very not stuck in the muck with all us gritters. That hope in my soul that I can transform – and experience more of God – gives me Life. It puts the posturing, the social-Christianity, the jonesing – and the one-up-man-ship that gets tragically traded in lieu of true community – right in its place. Thank God Jesus loves gritters!

 

I can’t bear to post a picture of people under a post titled “gritters” – so here’s a pic of my pooch instead. 😀

 

banana conversations and a boring walk with God

granted – everyone – and I mean everyone – who lives in any pursuit of God – occasionally hits a point where he or she struggles to maintain faith. A point where they doubt – suffer cynicism, skepticism – you know. In these moments of intense battle with despair – for belief in God’s wise and good purpose for the baffling natures of our lives – it’s easy to forget what’s real/certain about our relationship with God. I don’t know how these moments feel to you – but to me – I am immediately reminded of my childhood conversations with pookas and imaginary friends on this thing. amiright?

 

And sometimes – when really going through a wringer – my conversations with God don’t even feel that real. Then I’m reminded of Max Smart – talking into his shoe – or worse – as if I’d picked up a stupid banana – and started yakking away.

[picks up perfect, beautiful banana, holds to ear]

“Hello God?” …

“This is your problem child … ”

(oh – and by the way – can you even believe that thing to the right exists?!)

 

Honestly – whether you relate to me or not on this one – among the few certainties I know – is the next time it all hits the fan – this will happen again. Maybe this is the trade off for generally making no bones about wanting anything BUT a boring walk with God.

 

And – truthfully – re-reading back through that – I kinda feel bad for talking about a “boring walk” … what IS that anyway? And how arrogant? Is it necessary at this point for me to “out” myself as passionate? Let me clarify though – the boring/not boring is all on me. I’m not into drama, and not EVER into faking, concocting or manufacturing some trumped up emotion. I have a strictly no-bull policy in my walk.

 

The boring – for me – evaporates the moment I seriously attempt to apply any of the “one another” passages, or the “abide in Me” principles – or support a friend/loved one through a truly challenging situation. It also vanishes the second God’s double-edged sword of truth slices into my pet delusions. “Boring” usually only occurs to me when I let myself get very comfy turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to the very real problems. So – really – “boring” doesn’t exist – the moment I submit myself sincerely before Him – the work waiting to be done is immediately apparent – and there’s only one direction to go in.