granted – everyone – and I mean everyone – who lives in any pursuit of God – occasionally hits a point where he or she struggles to maintain faith. A point where they doubt – suffer cynicism, skepticism – you know. In these moments of intense battle with despair – for belief in God’s wise and good purpose for the baffling natures of our lives – it’s easy to forget what’s real/certain about our relationship with God. I don’t know how these moments feel to you – but to me – I am immediately reminded of my childhood conversations with pookas and imaginary friends on this thing. amiright?
And sometimes – when really going through a wringer – my conversations with God don’t even feel that real. Then I’m reminded of Max Smart – talking into his shoe – or worse – as if I’d picked up a stupid banana – and started yakking away.
“Hello God?” …
“This is your problem child … ”
(oh – and by the way – can you even believe that thing to the right exists?!)
Honestly – whether you relate to me or not on this one – among the few certainties I know – is the next time it all hits the fan – this will happen again. Maybe this is the trade off for generally making no bones about wanting anything BUT a boring walk with God.
And – truthfully – re-reading back through that – I kinda feel bad for talking about a “boring walk” … what IS that anyway? And how arrogant? Is it necessary at this point for me to “out” myself as passionate? Let me clarify though – the boring/not boring is all on me. I’m not into drama, and not EVER into faking, concocting or manufacturing some trumped up emotion. I have a strictly no-bull policy in my walk.
The boring – for me – evaporates the moment I seriously attempt to apply any of the “one another” passages, or the “abide in Me” principles – or support a friend/loved one through a truly challenging situation. It also vanishes the second God’s double-edged sword of truth slices into my pet delusions. “Boring” usually only occurs to me when I let myself get very comfy turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to the very real problems. So – really – “boring” doesn’t exist – the moment I submit myself sincerely before Him – the work waiting to be done is immediately apparent – and there’s only one direction to go in.